The Wonder Years

On my son's 11th birthday the typical worries that come with that territory that I have been ignoring, come flooding back. Aside from the fact he asks way too many questions  he seems to understand most of the answers. One can't get away with diversionary tactics or gibberish. You are faced with the realisation that this is truly a young adult in the making when he starts giving you tips to save money or  suggests  improvements to your time management skills. The bittersweet emotions of watching children grow up are only intensified when you realise they are no longer comfortable with you hugging or cossetting them.
With each passing year one dreads the onset of the teens and although most teenagers do seem like alien creatures I am hoping my son will be a lovable alien. Yes they are grumpy, short tempered, reclusive, rumour has it they also smell:-) and take every opportunity to defy authority but is it all bad? After all the most crucial years when a young person finds his/her grounding and starts forming opinions cannot be belittled. I think most of the behavioural issues that kids exhibit at this age stem from the fact that they no longer can take cover in our shadows and feel the heat of the sun full on. They may not reach out like before but the truth is they need us even more.Often the most desperate cries for help are the quietest....
Parenting is by no means a walk in the park and I often find myself wanting a 'Parenting for dummies'. One has to strike such a fine balance between supporting yet not curbing their independence. I think parents should be like an umbrella - a crazy comparison I know - that umbrella we keep safely tucked away in a forgotten cranny of our bag as we go about our business  but the second the downpour starts, out they come faithful as ever.  Good parenting is that subtle blend of holding on and letting go.......sounds worse than rocket science.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDo_JBFgH3k

Breathing in the fast lane

A maelstrom all around everyday and everywhere,
waking up even before the sun has warmed to the day,
rushing to be somewhere you should have been minutes earlier,
a few gulps of that stirring drink and precious mouthfuls of sustenance,
in and out of meetings and phone calls,
jargons, sticky situations, that ballistic boss, reams and reams of reading,
peering endlessly at that screen for answers,
talking, mulling, challenging,thinking.......and more thinking,
that's only half it though.....there's more,
cooking, washing, laundry, shopping, school runs,
a tireless list but only one of you,
each day blending into the next,
so much to do,
stop......breathe,
you owe it to yourself even in the fast lane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe6Ji8_6wLo

Rowena and her labour of love

I have come across  stories where the sheer grit and determination on display have inspired me. But Rowena's tale far surpasses all of them - girl power personified! When I first heard about the Minack theatre  and the wonder it is, I knew I had to see this one. An open air theatre with the raging Atlantic ocean as the back drop - stuff of fairy tales indeed! I was determined to see it and we visited it while caravanning at Cornwall. And like the guide books mentioned I too did believe at first sight that it must have been constructed by the Romans or at least a truckload of huge builders with all their paraphernalia of cranes and bulldozers. But then the story of Rowena Cade unfolds  before your eyes - an aristocratic upbringing born to a famous artist, Rowena was associated with the theatre from a young age having performed in a few small scale productions and also assisting extensively in backstage props and costume design. There are those that are patrons of a particular art but then there are those that live and breathe for their art and give up their lives for it.
She decided to convert her garden at Cornwall to a staging area for plays and thus began the rest of her life as lover of the theatre but primarily visionary and master builder. She set off to work converting her back yard at Minack house for Shakespeare's Tempest. What started out as a simple staging area for this play then slowly evolved into this amazing sight that stretched out before my eyes. Stones cut and and polished to make seating areas and a central staging area painfully hand carved lovingly into stone. She loved Shakespeare and what a stage she created for his work. But as all pioneers do, she too faced hurdles at every corner. World war II for starters put a huge damper on progress but she ploughed on. Rowena would continue to work on the theatre all her life till her mid eighties. She struggled many a time to make ends meet as ticket sales failed to generate enough funds for upkeep but nothing fazed her. A women who single-handedly moved ship wrecked wood from the beach below for the dressing rooms knew a thing or two about muscling through any hurdle.....
With just two sidekicks, her gardeners, a seemingly "frail old women" achieved the impossible.Today the theatre is swarming with visitors and theatre folk but her journey was a lonely one filled with hardships. If you are ever wondering what to see in Cornwall, make this top of your list. My only misgiving was that we couldn't see one of the productions being staged there but hopefully one I will be given the chance to set right.
There are many moments when architectural wonders take our breath away but very few labours of love that choke us - a women who lovingly chiseled away  at a brutal mountain surface all her life to unearth her dream........


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUBp_LvXuc4

pyar ya pyar se bhi zyadaa

It's been a while since I blogged - a multitude of reasons but I prefer to  fashionably put it down to writer's block. My definition of writers' block - a writer banging their head against a block praying for inspiration, a bit dramatic but not too far-fetched. Then I came across this contest on India bloggers to write an article on.....lo and behold!- Love marriage Vs Arranged marriage. A topic discussed to death, argued on every platform often igniting  strong opinions. What more can little old me add that might make a difference? But that's probably why so many people have ridden this hobby horse - cause nobody can escape from it, everyone contemplates marriage at some point and before you know it there you are on that horse forming your opinions with each clippity clop. Enough of the equestrian comparisons - coming to the matter at hand what more can I add to this discussion? Well here goes...

Pyar - Everyone grows up with ideas of falling in love and finding that elusive soul mate. But how many of us can afford that luxury and even if we could is it always forever? A teenager's dream, a young person's hope, someone's reality and another's disillusionment. Flowers and hearts, sweet nothings and more - and why ever not cause when it hits you it catches you unawares, rocks your world and tilts it askew. And then when the dust settles and you are living the dream, can you keep it up without waking up? Reality bites and when it bites boy! does it chew at you in chunks. I have seen so many love marriages turn sour, when expectations let alone not managed, are hardly even acknowledged. Mind you there are always success stories as well. Couples who blossom in each others presence and stoke and kindle their chemistry to something that lasts till death does them part and if possible even beyond.  Alas ! we don't have more of them because they are beautiful to behold - a jigsaw that knits seamlessly into place, a poem entwined in music to make a song, a mish mash of colours on a canvas that spectators often scratch their heads to decipher.

Pyar se bhi zyadaa - an arrangement, a contract, realism in action.....do we like each other? do our families get along? do our horoscopes match? are we compatible?.....how many more questions can I list in my match-making checklist?.....possibly stark , a little de-stripped of emotion almost like the spotless bleached corridors of a hospital ward. Not a pretty image! but the realist that dozes in everyone and often wakes up in people like me and gives a kick up the backside and says "wake up fool!" is doing the salsa when faced with such an arrangement. Yes, it doesn't start off all whistles and bells and very few poets have been inspired by it but why then does it work so well? A love that grows with each day - ok ok that might be too optimistic a view. Let's say a love that waxes and wanes like the lunar cycle. A discovery in its most beautiful form, a quest if you will. Often a success story and why ever not? two people who have come into the relationship their feet firmly grounded and if  they do then learn to grow together, furrowing roots deep into the ground and maybe also throwing branches reaching for the heavens - indeed why ever not!
It has known to happen and yet again it is a sight to behold.

surrealism or realism,

a beautiful dream or a spiritual awakening,

the searing passion of turbulent waves or the soothing touch of babbling brooks,

pyar ya pyar se bhi zyadaa,

Who is equipped enough to fathom that hey? definitely not me.....

Yes, as the very appropriate strap line for the contest read - either you arrange the love or love the  arrangement! a conundrum indeed. An argument exists for both sides as always and I personally seesaw most of the time as most of us often do. But that's the beauty of life itself - choice , freewill, to make a decision and to commit to it and live it the best way possible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T71jHjIvEAI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&v=xPKQ1tzsBWI&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-J4xYOxJ9w&feature=fvwrel

A date with destiny....

No, not the name of some mills & boon you faintly remember, rather a serious discussion about destiny. Well as serious as I can get in most circumstances anyway. Why destiny? Why not destiny? Is it foolhardy to believe in it? or is bigger the fool who dismisses it? Is it possible our lives have already been written, pre-planned and us only living the motions. How many times do we shrug our shoulders blaming fate? escapism ? Possibly. But the argument there could be why do we so often get the feeling that some things are meant to be? Coincidences which just feel too coincidental.


And what about astrology ? Hogwash  or something so groundbreaking and scientific that a full understanding of it is beyond human comprehension? Think about it, the position of the cosmos at the time of your birth and its transitions thereafter defines you and your entire life, down to the nitty gritty of how you look, how your partner might look, what work you do and even when and how you move on to the beyond. I for one raise my hands to poring over sun sign predictions and the like. Why you ask? Not so much because I believe that everything that I read will come true but more so for the sense of comfort I get knowing it's not all down to me, all the ups and downs are not entirely my doing and there could be something beyond me. Escapist yes but also rather humbling in a way. There has to  be some truth in it though - considering sometimes it feels like whatever you do you just can't seem to catch a break, hurdles at every corner and a liaison with bad luck that can't be shaken off. While at other times, things magically seem to go your way, a rainbow after every rain shower, good fortune that hunts you down. Makes me wonder......


 My mother, an astrology enthusiast herself, once said to me that our astrological charts are the balance sheets from our previous birth i.e. whatever you do now defines your life in the next birth. Quite an icky thought at that! One would think any retribution for the bad and any goodwill for the good , would boomerang back in the current life. But does that mean we can shirk all responsibility for our actions, blame everything on the elusive and lounge around with no motivation. Fat chance! That's where the catch is! Freewill is the magic word here or at least the perception of freewill. They tell you everything  can be surmounted with hard work, battling against odds, banging against that wall so many times you at least dent it. And this I do have proof off - striving for something for so long, living and breathing it, does make it come true. It's almost like some thing out there has heard your fervent prayer and can't but offer a helping hand. So the next time you get down on your knees, maybe not literally, and say "give me a break someone up there" make sure you say it fervently enough and who knows what might be in store......
Lots of questions as always with very few answers.....but then some questions just need to exist unanswered....... Keeps us going, keeps us wondering.......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjyP37kDJ4I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVfgqdlAuwU

Happiness Unlimited

that sigh when standing on a mountain top,
that contentment lazing on the grass mesmerised by fluffy white clouds,
that cosy feeling of a warm drink on a cold winter's day,
that gentle relief of a breeze on a searing summer's day,
that chill of the first wave on the beach,
that moment when your favourite song starts playing on a drive,
that feather soft touch of a babies hand,
that bittersweet emotion watching your children grow,
that pride when praised for a job well done,
that smile on a loved ones face,
that buzz of first love,
that yawn when your head hits the pillow,
that blissful silence in meditation,
so fleeting, there one minute gone the next,
forever etched in the windmills of your mind,
profound, elusive, surreal yet so real!
wealth, power , fame hell yeah! but take a backseat for now,
Happiness Unlimited? yes please, if only for a while!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDnJx6T_HsE&feature=related

When the Gods came down......

When the Gods came down…..
And the demons existed outside not within.


A supernatural force that controls everything and keeps tabs on us and the chaos we create....


Some of us have a natural inclination to believe in God and I don’t want to use the
word blindly but rather inherently feel at ease in trusting. Some on the other hand outright refuse to believe that there could be something out there beyond human comprehension and finally there are those of us that like to sit on the fence and tend to believe in this force possibly because we don’t want to question something we don’t understand, possibly because we are afraid to bring on its wrath by doing so.
But  I do believe ardently that all religions at the end of the day came to fruition to bring forward one message – that there is something out there watching over all of us and if we only find it within us to believe and trust, there is hope for us. But Hinduism is one of those religions that always never separated man from God. God was always given a human form and personality and his many miracles and foibles alike were passed on through folklore. The modern world often scoffs idol worship but I think there is a certain ingenuity in the way these ancient religions brought God closer to us, through these means.
The underlying message seems to be that God is not some cosmic force that we can’t see and touch. He does not live on another planet, nor is he just a source of a light or energy. Not to disregard that in fact he might be all those things as well. But by making him human with emotions, his anger, his dispair, his love and his misgivings, he comes closer to us. Who can turn their back on the endearing pranks of the adolescent Krishna, or the chubby sweetness of Ganesha, the generous hearted Lakshmi who brings prosperity to whatever she touches, or the strong hearted and loyal Hanuman who would take on anything for his king or the cheeky games of Naradhar. The brilliance of  folklore and religious icons is evident in that they have survived all these centuries and still continue to live on today. They are the stories that children grow up with and whether they then grow on to question religious fanaticism and religion in general one can’t deny how much these stories shape our lives and our beliefs and our love for that elusive almighty.
One of the stories that has always touched me is one related to Muraga , the son of lord Shiva. Like we all do at many  instances in our life he questioned authority and he got into a tiff with his mother and father over a piece of fruit. A task was set out to both him and his brother Ganesha and he lost and was denied the fruit. He loses his cool and in a fit of anger gives up all his material belongings and heads off in a huff to the mountain of Palani where he then sets camp as an act of protest. How endearing is that? How can we not relate to this when so many of us have had these moments when we are estranged for whatever reason from our dear ones? There is a song out there "Ennakavi Padinalum" that actually talks about all the emotions he must be going through and trys to abate his childish anger. I can't think of anything more enchanting than the fact that this song reaches out to the almighty himself to rethink his decision and we actually end up feeling sorry for him. Imagine! the one who rules over everything and the song actually urges him to see sense. That's what Hinduism thrives on, bringing the gods down from the heavens so we can reach out and feel their misgivings and triumphs.


This beautiful song was sung by one of my new favourites Aruna Sairam.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExcbNWLBwLE&feature=autoplay&list=FL33QnRxwcH8jatzSgnE4vTA&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=2

Some places and Certain faces

I went on my annual holiday back home to Chennai, India a few weeks ago and wanted to share a few insights from the reprieve. India as always hits you like a ton of bricks the second you step off the plane, the humidity, smell of musty carpets, the noisy chatter. Once out of the airport and your head is soon reeling with the sounds of traffic, neon lights and your body is working overdrive to cope with the heat. India is one of those countries steeped in heritage and tradition but strangely enough not a lot of that is visible at a first glance anymore. One of the fastest growing economies at the moment! and believe you me, it shows. Every direction you turn there are signs of western infiltration, wealth and development. But you get the feeling of chaos and the sense of an old country that had been blissfully lost in meditation  being rudely broken from the trance and thrown head first into the murky waters of economic progress. Hey don’t get me wrong….it fills me with pride that Indians are finally seeing the  light of day  and yes that everyone can now have a mobile phone - and an iphone at that probably,  right from the newspaper delivery boy to the lady who sells flowers at the street corner. But who’s to say what darkness is and that this is light. It’s relative and relativity can be as fickle as the cloud cover over London.
Bring on the idli ,dosa and inner peace! Strange combination indeed but then again this is India we are talking about, the country that gave the rest of the world the sacred treasures of yoga, meditation, and astrology and  the country that was years ahead of its times centuries ago but too nonchalant to even flaunt it, populated to the seams, where road traffic breathes a life of its own, the land of software engineers galore, a spiritual warehouse, a conundrum, a question, possibly the answer....I could go on for a while. Bottom line is she is all that and more and yet in a weird way beautifully so.
Sitting on the sandy shores of the marina beach, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that India was changing beyond recognition and it scared me what she was morphing into. But almost as a comforting sign from the cosmos at every stage, I saw the faces of the people that I used to feel a kinship with - the boisterous  boy selling sundal from his tin box, the cajoling screams of the lady who sells the mulaga bhajis from her stall, the priest at the temple who always manages to remember you, the neighbours and family who come to greet you and insist you must come home for a bite (yeah like your stomach can possibly take anymore food). The people are still the same.....more flashy perhaps but still the same.
The sun was setting and everyone seemed to shut up but for a few seconds to enjoy the scene. It was a truly unique contradiction - on one side of the horizon the wild waves, a glorious sunset and a sense of tranquillity and alignment with nature akin to ancient India and on the other side the lights and sounds of the city that seemed to never sleep, screaming out the sounds of a country kicking and fighting its way into the new world. And it dawned on me then that change is the one thing that never changes and home may not be what you remembered or cling to in your heart yet it is still home and that oneness you feel with the people around you will hopefully always retain the glorious hues of  that setting Indian summer sun no matter where you live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Inci3dF-fQ&feature=related

Beginnings

Remember the fairy tales from childhood where people lived happily ever after? Could there ever be a happily ever after? And if there was wouldn't it in fact be fairly boring?  Just a thought! But on the flip side what we are guaranteed in plenty are new beginnings and that’s what every New year promises to bring – a crossroad – a chance to step back and reassess all  the things we want from the coming days hand in hand with an opportunity to set straight a few mess-ups  from the past.
The resilience of the human spirit never ceases to amaze me. Have you ever bounced on a trampoline ? A truly indulgent experience. No matter how many times you fall the promise of always jumping back  unscathed is what makes it fun . On the contrary the human spirit endeavours to bounce back  even from painful experiences. All the more memorable wouldn't you say?
And each New Year promises exactly that - a glimmer of hope that things will go completely our way and we get everything we want. Yeah and the sun will start rising in the west! Pessimism galore I know! But the optimist in me says it is good to hope all our dreams come true and just resolving to make this ‘our year’  is the first step if at all to getting to where to we want to be.
What about resolutions though? Do they make sense? I have taken one too many resolutions only to see them bite the dust as early as mid January. Eat healthy, exercise more, read more, make that all important career change, more quality time with the family. But why try to set targets that only address the peripherals of what we actually want.
How about these though - just being more happier, one selfless act per week if not every day, or making each day count in some way - leanardo's dialogue of course but considering it came from him the message needs to be spread ;-)
I had a teacher once who you used to keep saying that students need to be like horses that have their eyes framed by eye blocks. The horse is blinded of all distractions other than the road. Of course this worked to a certain extent as a student but I would challenge this now. Life can hardly be lived with eye blocks on. Shutting out what we choose not to see or of no relevance to us would in the end rob us of enriching experiences. One might achieve goals with this single minded approach for sure but what about the journey that gets us there. That needs to count as well surely?
On that note let's hope the cosmos gives us the energy and good sense to see and absorb the experiences in store for us - to cherish all the good and bounce back from any pain.

Picture abhi bi bhaki hai mere dost....so let's keep our eyes open to take it all in.....

Happy New Year everyone....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsb3BdkdlhM&feature=related